The 10 Best NBA Celebrations, Part 2

Click the link for Part 1.

It's tough to pick ten celebrations in the NBA these days. It may not have a ready-made initialization like the "No Fun League", but with refs able to call technical fouls almost at whim and the best coaches being as crazy as a group of mathletes (Poppovich, Thibodeau, Carlisle), there's just not a lot of whimsy left in the Association. Never mind that all the crazy in the league is now solely in the form of Metta World Artest, there just aren't a lot of dramatic ballplayers.

Still, there are guys who can rock out with the best of them after a good play. Here's the top five of them in the NBA.

5. The Three Goggles/"German Three" (Dirk Nowitzki, Rudy Fernandez, Wesley Matthews, Patrick Mills)

I'd have put Brad Miller in this, but the recently retired former Bulls big man is now going to focus on hunting shows. So it's down to the men who make sharpshooting look that much cooler. 

(Note: Remember the scene from "Inglourious Basterds", when the Nazi officer makes the British spy because of the way he signals "three"? I wasn't sold on that...until I saw Dirk do the German three. The NBA: where learning happens.)

4. The "Where's the And-One?" (Dwyane Wade, Derrick Rose)

This is somewhat sarcastic, considering Wade is kind of a crybaby when it comes to fouls. But he makes some incredible shots, and D-Rose's fadeaway two on the Lakers gained legendary status during his MVP season, thanks in no small part to Stacey King ("He didn't pull a Jordan, did he? He didn't pull an MJ?")

3. The "You Can't See Me" (DeShawn Stevenson)

Come on, don't get upset. DeShawn Stevenson had to be in the top 10 of something.

2. The "Be Quiet, This is a Library"/Crowd Shush (Kris Humphries)

I'm giving this one solely to Kris Humphries because he deserves it. This is a move reserved for away games when you're in a hostile crowd, and every arena's been hostile to K-Hump after his divorce from Ms. Kardashian. America, get over it. You be happy that Kimmy's back on the market. As for Kris, he's playing good ball for the Nets and should be extra happy at the four-spot next year, after Jay-Z gets Dwight to Brooklyn. Oops, spoiler!

1. The Gunslinger (Joakim Noah)

You thought I wasn't going to be a homer? You thought I wasn't going to pick this after the lead photo in part 1? You thought Joakim Noah wasn't going to make the list? To quote Barney Frank, "On what planet do you spend most of your time?"

Joakim said it best: "No one is going to out-celebrate me. Roy Hibbert is not going to out-celebrate me."

A quick lesson before I go, cheap seaters: life is meant to be enjoyed. Whatever you do in life, make sure you have fun. So if you beat your uncle at a game of checkers, get the last parking space in front of the post office, or receive a bigger tax refund than you expected, make sure you drop off a little celebration, no matter who's around.

That reminds me, I've got to do my taxes. See you in the cheap seats.

JS

"It's a Celebration": The 10 Best NBA Celebration Dances, Part 1

As soon as our Caterpillar recreational basketball league started, our team discussed our most important strategy: what dance we would do after we hit a shot. Most guys went with the Discount Double-Check (dick riders). Being a Bears fan, I chose not to ride the Aaron Rodgers wave and settled on the Clark Kent (check the jump).

Two months later, our record is a dismal 3-10, our team is fracturing faster than Greg Oden, and we're looking ahead to softball season. But the celebrations haven't quit. There's been no sign of the DD-C, but me and my boy Thomas have taken to doing the Carlos Boozer yell (see below) after a big play. So that got me to thinking: what are the best NBA celebrations in the game right now? Don't worry, that's what we're here for at LitCS.

I want to yell "Grab that shit", but I think I'd get ejected.

10. The Blank Look (Blake Griffin)

What really needs to be said after you dunk on Kendrick Perkins' entire family tree?

9. The....What Is He Doing? (Russell Westbrook)

I'm never really sure what Russell Westbrook is on when he's dunking, but I need some of it. I'd get so much more work done. Or I'd just destroy things.

8. The Chest Pound/Sneer (Derrick Rose, Kevin Durant)

The face that says, "Get off my court, I'm king of this jungle." Or maybe he means "George of the Jungle".

7. The "Kobe Face" (Kobe Bryant)

If Kobe weren't so damn clutch in the late stages, I'd say he has a toothache.

6. The Step Over (Dwyane Wade via Allen Iverson)

There is nothing more disrespectful than stepping over the body of a fallen opponent. Where have you gone, Tyronn Lue?

What could be in the top 5? Look for the remainder of the list tomorrow night. Feel free to post videos of your favorite moves at the Life in the Cheap Seats group on Facebook.

JS

It's Luol Deng...to the Rescue?, Part 2

Luol Deng is a grown-ass man.

This phrase is not to be taken lightly. Men grow older every day, but as women are fond of saying, not all of them grow up.

Luol Deng used to be one of these childish men. He was soft, content to shoot jump shots and stay out of the lane. He was moody, a sullen figure on the bench in street clothes after his latest injury.

Somewhere in the midst of the 2010 playoffs, Lu grew up.

The Bulls were hopelessly outmatched by the Cavaliers that season, but Lu gallantly went toe-to-toe with an adamant LeBron James. He bodied James, he drove on him, he made plays. I finally stopped yelling obscenities at my television when he touched the ball.

Then, Tom Thibodeau was hired, the Bulls went on their determined run last year, and Luol Deng became the man. He was that most revered of sports terms: the glue. Deng was the indispensable player; the guy that holds the team together, the guy who fills in the gaps.

It was said that Derrick Rose was the MVP of the league, but Luol Deng was the MVP of the Bulls.

Luol Deng is a grown-ass man.

Pacing yourself


When Deng went down with a wrist injury last week, it was the latest in a rash of maladies that had affected the Bulls' roster. Rose had a sprained toe, Taj Gibson and Joakim Noah had sustained sprained ankles, Rip Hamilton's groin, CJ Watson's bad elbow. Aside from the astounding fact that Carlos Boozer had remained healthy through all this, the Bulls were severely banged up...but kept winning.

Then Deng went down in a blowout victory, and the injury was revealed to be more than a minor bump: a torn ligament in his non-shooting wrist.

The glue was gone.

The defense became shakier, as the Bulls started giving up big individual games and allowing teams to top the century mark. The offensive options were limited with Hamilton still on the shelf.

The Bulls' steady Winnebago that had been carving a path of destruction across the NBA landscape had become a Yugo, ready to shake itself to pieces at any moment.

The Indiana Pacers knew this, and Frank Vogel's chip-on-the-shoulder upstarts managed to deal the Bulls their first home loss of the season, as Chicago shot 40 percent for the game and scored only 16 points in the fourth quarter. The absence of Luol Deng loomed large as Danny Granger got loose late for several offensive rebounds.

The Last Jedi of (South) Sudan


The Bulls have their early-season marquee matchup tomorrow with the vaunted Miami Heat. Wade has returned from his own injury, LeBron is in usual form (though he still can't consistently hit a three), Shane Battier has given the Heat even more of a defensive presence and Norris Cole is all he was touted to be.

The Bulls would have had a tough matchup to begin with. But with no Deng, LeBron will have a much easier time to work. He might even record a field goal in the fourth quarter.

Proof that kings really hail from the motherland.

The Bulls have shown they can win without Deng, without Rose, shoot, they've shown they can win without half the active roster. But against a Miami Heat team at full strength, they will need every hand on deck, from  Derrick Rose to Mike James. Carlos Boozer will be better than he was last year against Chris Bosh. Joakim Noah will be better. Rip Hamilton will provide scoring and vision much better than Keith Bogans. But a major piece will be most likely be missing tomorrow, and it may be the most important one.

Help us, Luol Deng. You may be our only hope.

See you in the cheap seats.

JS