My mom always hated Dave Wannstedt.
A little back story: my mom has lived in Chicago her entire life (except for being born in Gary, which I never let her forget). In all those years, she has never really cared about sports, save for three things that never fail to make me laugh:
1. She's called Scottie Pippen "The Whiner" after Game 3 of the '94 Eastern Conference Semifinals. A surprise, since she never watched the Bulls unless I was.
2. She doesn't really remember much from the Super Bowl Shuffle, except that Otis Wilson was called "Mama's Boy" Otis. I have a feeling that this is a very fond memory.
3. She absolutely HATED Dave Wannstedt.
I never really understood why she hated Wannie so much. She didn't watch sports except soccer, since she was coaching me. But when Dave Wannstedt came on TV, she was always four words away from changing the channel. She even called me during the Bears-Patriots game just to tell me he got fired from Pittsburgh.
This is 12 years after he left the Bears, mind you. (She didn't like Dick Jauron too much either, to be fair.)
How far we've come
Still, it's not hard to see how my sports-indifferent mother could hate the man so much. He guided the Bears to a 41-57 record in five years and one playoff berth. During those years, the top Bears quarterback was Erik Kramer; the #1 receiver was Curtis Conway; and the "next great" Bears running back? Rashaan Salaam.
Suffice to say that after Super Bowl 31, I almost became a Packers fan.
After DW, there was Dick Jauron; the "dink-and-dunk" offense; Gary Crowton and the wide receiver screen; Paul Edinger; Todd Sauerbrun's ego; the (short)rise and fall of Cedric Benson and Jerry Angelo's controversial decisions. In my 22 years on the planet, the Bears have gone to the playoffs seven times. In that same span, the Packers visited the postseason 12 times (with a Super Bowl win).
But this year, there's something different. The Bears aren't obscenely lucky, like they were in 2001. They aren't just a one-dimensional team, like 2006. This year, they're something more.
A little Lovie in your heart
I'm not here to recap and analyze; you can go to ESPN and your local newspaper for that. The important stat for me is this: the Bears are 7-1 after the bye week. Going into the break, they were 4-3 and had more question marks around them than the Riddler.
All that's left is a primetime date with the Packers next week at Lambeau. Ordinarily, I'd expect the Bears to rest starters with a playoff spot locked up. However, a first-round bye is still on the line, and the Packers need a win to make the playoffs.
Say it again: the Packers need a win to make the playoffs. Against the Bears. At Lambeau Field.
Remember what Lovie's goals were when he was introduced as Chicago's coach? In reverse order: win a championship, win the division, and....beat the Packers.
Even with an 11-win season in the books, I guarantee you Lovie guns to keep Green Bay at home this postseason. If he succeeds, the coach everyone thought would be fired come January might be planning a trip to Texas come February.
Taking shape
Yes, our quarterback still has baby fat (which his playoff beard does a decent job of hiding, by the way). Yes, the offense is very inconsistent. Yes, the Bears have had mad amounts of luck since Week 1.
But are they in the playoffs? Yes. Have they won two of the three statement games in the second half of the season? Yes. Which means we can't discount this Bears team. To paraphrase Dennis Green, the Bears are not who we thought they were.
They're actually (gulp) good.
JS
Monday, December 27, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
New England's Evil Empire
If the NFL was Star Wars...
(I can hear you out there: "Wait. Stop. If the NFL was what?" Just go with it, okay? I know it sounds a little goofy, but this has a point.)
So if the NFL was Star Wars, the Patriots would be the Evil Empire. Iffy (and nerdy) at first, but consider the following:
-New England hasn't won the Super Bowl since 2005, but they've always been the team to watch in the AFC East. However, the Browns and Jets both had convincing wins over the Pats, while New England barely escaped the Ravens at home. Remind you of the "Rebel Alliance" a bit?
-Since halftime of the Thanksgiving game against Detroit and prior to tonight's contest with Green Bay, the Pats had outscored opponents 116-21. This is the NFL equivalent of freezing Han Solo in ice and cutting off Luke Skywalker's arm.
(Following this analogy, the Bears are Han Solo and Mark Sanchez is Luke Skywalker. Really only works if Rex Ryan is Chewbacca.)
-Remember how after the 'Spygate' scandal three years ago and the controversy swirling around Foxboro, the Patriots decided to absolutely murk the entire league? Of course, the Pats lost to the Giants in a great Super Bowl, but not before they blew up Alderaan....I mean, thrashed the Redskins 52-7, leading to complaints they were running up the score.
Sure, the comparisons were better two years ago, but with the Patriots on their current roll, many NFL fans are questioning who can stop them. Which leads to my main point of this article:
Bill Belichick is Darth Vader.
(All right, stop rolling your eyes and give me a shot at this.)
He always wears that same hoodie with the cut-off sleeves, just like Vader's omnipresent suit. He never shows any emotion, win or lose. He even killed Mace Windu! (All right, that last one isn't true, but he did basically throw Lovie Smith out the window, if the Bears don't win the division.)
All that's really missing is a red lightsaber and a breathing machine.
Lord Vader or not, Belichick is steering the Patriots toward home-field advantage come the playoffs. With the Bills and Dolphins the only teams left on the schedule, there's good odds that say they'll be in prime position to do just that. And with the Colts looking lost, the Steelers and Ravens little competition and the NFC a shambles, Darth Belichick may just be victorious this time.
So don't be surprised if you see Danny Woodhead wearing a Stormtrooper suit after next Sunday's game.
JS
(I can hear you out there: "Wait. Stop. If the NFL was what?" Just go with it, okay? I know it sounds a little goofy, but this has a point.)
So if the NFL was Star Wars, the Patriots would be the Evil Empire. Iffy (and nerdy) at first, but consider the following:
-New England hasn't won the Super Bowl since 2005, but they've always been the team to watch in the AFC East. However, the Browns and Jets both had convincing wins over the Pats, while New England barely escaped the Ravens at home. Remind you of the "Rebel Alliance" a bit?
-Since halftime of the Thanksgiving game against Detroit and prior to tonight's contest with Green Bay, the Pats had outscored opponents 116-21. This is the NFL equivalent of freezing Han Solo in ice and cutting off Luke Skywalker's arm.
(Following this analogy, the Bears are Han Solo and Mark Sanchez is Luke Skywalker. Really only works if Rex Ryan is Chewbacca.)
-Remember how after the 'Spygate' scandal three years ago and the controversy swirling around Foxboro, the Patriots decided to absolutely murk the entire league? Of course, the Pats lost to the Giants in a great Super Bowl, but not before they blew up Alderaan....I mean, thrashed the Redskins 52-7, leading to complaints they were running up the score.
Sure, the comparisons were better two years ago, but with the Patriots on their current roll, many NFL fans are questioning who can stop them. Which leads to my main point of this article:
Bill Belichick is Darth Vader.
(All right, stop rolling your eyes and give me a shot at this.)
He always wears that same hoodie with the cut-off sleeves, just like Vader's omnipresent suit. He never shows any emotion, win or lose. He even killed Mace Windu! (All right, that last one isn't true, but he did basically throw Lovie Smith out the window, if the Bears don't win the division.)
All that's really missing is a red lightsaber and a breathing machine.
Lord Vader or not, Belichick is steering the Patriots toward home-field advantage come the playoffs. With the Bills and Dolphins the only teams left on the schedule, there's good odds that say they'll be in prime position to do just that. And with the Colts looking lost, the Steelers and Ravens little competition and the NFC a shambles, Darth Belichick may just be victorious this time.
So don't be surprised if you see Danny Woodhead wearing a Stormtrooper suit after next Sunday's game.
JS
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
In These Marvelous Times
It's a great time to be a Chicago sports fan.
Incredible, isn't it? I don't think that sentence has ever been said out loud without dripping sarcasm or an immediate tongue-lashing from the nearest person. As a matter of fact, there would probably be some backhanded response even now...
"Yeah, a great time. The Bears are the worst first-place team in the league, the Hawks are nothing compared to last year, and the Bulls are one injury away from falling through the floor. And don't get me started about baseball!....."
And so on. My mom has made an art form of this; she never ever says any Chicago team is doing well until they actually win a championship. Before that, in her words, "oh, they're mediocre."
(You've never heard anyone say "mediocre" until you've heard my mother say it. I almost want to put up her phone number so you can call and ask her to say it for you.)
Nontheless, it's still a great time to be a Chicago sports fan, no matter which of the teams is your favorite. And if you don't believe me, check it out.
1. The Bears are in first place, and it's after Week 3.
It's easy to be in first early in the season, but the Bears are still top of the division as we move into the final quarter of the NFL schedule. Granted, they've taken care of some easy marks (Bills, Cowboys, Panthers) and had some games handed to them (Packers, Lions), but hey—they still freakin' won. That's all that matters.
2. The Bulls are in first place, and hanging with the championship teams.
Year in and year out, after the MVP awards have been handed out and ESPN has finished jocking all the name players (Kobe, LeBron and *ugh* Rondo), the anchors talk about the importance of "That Guy".
You know him. He's the guy who put up 12 points and 8 rebounds every night and never got any press. He's the guy who came off the bench late in the season after a starter got injured. Either way, he's always the guy that gets credit for "keeping the team together until the star could take over". No one knows who he is before and no one really remembers him afterward. Classic example: Leon Powe for the Celts in '08.
The Bulls' "That Guy"? Taj Gibson. He was the lower draft pick last year, behind James Johnson. After his successful rookie season last year, he was supposed to move to the bench behind Carlos Boozer. But with Boozer out for the first month of the season, Taj was in the starting five, and he's delivered to the tune of 11-7 and almost two blocks per game.
Much like Greg Jennings in Madden, "he puts the team on his back, doe."
3. The Hawks are second in the division, even with half of last year's squad gone.
My erstwhile roommate (we'll call him Clark) has been keeping me updated on his St. Louis Blues and how they're poised to make a run at the playoffs this year. (He's also a Packers fan. How we coexist is a mystery to me.) Unfortunately for Clark, I'm going to shower him with insults later as I see the Hawks sitting in second behind Detroit—two places ahead of the Blues.
To be fair, NHL statistics are misleading, and since the Hawks have played at least three games more than any other division team, they are going to have a chance at more points. Still, the Blackhawks have won six of their last eight contests. Before last night's high scoring affair with St. Louis, they hadn't allowed more than two goals in any game, which means Corey Crawford might get the nod over Marty Turco in the near-future.
And why is it great to be a Sox or Cubs fan right now? Simply, it's winter. No disappointments if they're not playing, ay? (Although Cubs fans have to be feeling a little salty about that Theriot trade to St. Louis.)
Yeah, it's a good life right now in the Windy City. But just like the weather, you should probably check back tomorrow. Things might have changed.
See you in the cheap seats.
JS
Incredible, isn't it? I don't think that sentence has ever been said out loud without dripping sarcasm or an immediate tongue-lashing from the nearest person. As a matter of fact, there would probably be some backhanded response even now...
"Yeah, a great time. The Bears are the worst first-place team in the league, the Hawks are nothing compared to last year, and the Bulls are one injury away from falling through the floor. And don't get me started about baseball!....."
And so on. My mom has made an art form of this; she never ever says any Chicago team is doing well until they actually win a championship. Before that, in her words, "oh, they're mediocre."
(You've never heard anyone say "mediocre" until you've heard my mother say it. I almost want to put up her phone number so you can call and ask her to say it for you.)
Nontheless, it's still a great time to be a Chicago sports fan, no matter which of the teams is your favorite. And if you don't believe me, check it out.
1. The Bears are in first place, and it's after Week 3.
It's easy to be in first early in the season, but the Bears are still top of the division as we move into the final quarter of the NFL schedule. Granted, they've taken care of some easy marks (Bills, Cowboys, Panthers) and had some games handed to them (Packers, Lions), but hey—they still freakin' won. That's all that matters.
2. The Bulls are in first place, and hanging with the championship teams.
Year in and year out, after the MVP awards have been handed out and ESPN has finished jocking all the name players (Kobe, LeBron and *ugh* Rondo), the anchors talk about the importance of "That Guy".
You know him. He's the guy who put up 12 points and 8 rebounds every night and never got any press. He's the guy who came off the bench late in the season after a starter got injured. Either way, he's always the guy that gets credit for "keeping the team together until the star could take over". No one knows who he is before and no one really remembers him afterward. Classic example: Leon Powe for the Celts in '08.
The Bulls' "That Guy"? Taj Gibson. He was the lower draft pick last year, behind James Johnson. After his successful rookie season last year, he was supposed to move to the bench behind Carlos Boozer. But with Boozer out for the first month of the season, Taj was in the starting five, and he's delivered to the tune of 11-7 and almost two blocks per game.
Much like Greg Jennings in Madden, "he puts the team on his back, doe."
3. The Hawks are second in the division, even with half of last year's squad gone.
My erstwhile roommate (we'll call him Clark) has been keeping me updated on his St. Louis Blues and how they're poised to make a run at the playoffs this year. (He's also a Packers fan. How we coexist is a mystery to me.) Unfortunately for Clark, I'm going to shower him with insults later as I see the Hawks sitting in second behind Detroit—two places ahead of the Blues.
To be fair, NHL statistics are misleading, and since the Hawks have played at least three games more than any other division team, they are going to have a chance at more points. Still, the Blackhawks have won six of their last eight contests. Before last night's high scoring affair with St. Louis, they hadn't allowed more than two goals in any game, which means Corey Crawford might get the nod over Marty Turco in the near-future.
And why is it great to be a Sox or Cubs fan right now? Simply, it's winter. No disappointments if they're not playing, ay? (Although Cubs fans have to be feeling a little salty about that Theriot trade to St. Louis.)
Yeah, it's a good life right now in the Windy City. But just like the weather, you should probably check back tomorrow. Things might have changed.
See you in the cheap seats.
JS
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