It's tough to pick ten celebrations in the NBA these days. It may not have a ready-made initialization like the "No Fun League", but with refs able to call technical fouls almost at whim and the best coaches being as crazy as a group of mathletes (Poppovich, Thibodeau, Carlisle), there's just not a lot of whimsy left in the Association. Never mind that all the crazy in the league is now solely in the form of Metta World Artest, there just aren't a lot of dramatic ballplayers.
Still, there are guys who can rock out with the best of them after a good play. Here's the top five of them in the NBA.
5. The Three Goggles/"German Three" (Dirk Nowitzki, Rudy Fernandez, Wesley Matthews, Patrick Mills)
I'd have put Brad Miller in this, but the recently retired former Bulls big man is now going to focus on hunting shows. So it's down to the men who make sharpshooting look that much cooler.
(Note: Remember the scene from "Inglourious Basterds", when the Nazi officer makes the British spy because of the way he signals "three"? I wasn't sold on that...until I saw Dirk do the German three. The NBA: where learning happens.)
4. The "Where's the And-One?" (Dwyane Wade, Derrick Rose)
This is somewhat sarcastic, considering Wade is kind of a crybaby when it comes to fouls. But he makes some incredible shots, and D-Rose's fadeaway two on the Lakers gained legendary status during his MVP season, thanks in no small part to Stacey King ("He didn't pull a Jordan, did he? He didn't pull an MJ?")
3. The "You Can't See Me" (DeShawn Stevenson)
Come on, don't get upset. DeShawn Stevenson had to be in the top 10 of something.
2. The "Be Quiet, This is a Library"/Crowd Shush (Kris Humphries)
I'm giving this one solely to Kris Humphries because he deserves it. This is a move reserved for away games when you're in a hostile crowd, and every arena's been hostile to K-Hump after his divorce from Ms. Kardashian. America, get over it. You be happy that Kimmy's back on the market. As for Kris, he's playing good ball for the Nets and should be extra happy at the four-spot next year, after Jay-Z gets Dwight to Brooklyn. Oops, spoiler!
1. The Gunslinger (Joakim Noah)
You thought I wasn't going to be a homer? You thought I wasn't going to pick this after the lead photo in part 1? You thought Joakim Noah wasn't going to make the list? To quote Barney Frank, "On what planet do you spend most of your time?"
Joakim said it best: "No one is going to out-celebrate me. Roy Hibbert is not going to out-celebrate me."
A quick lesson before I go, cheap seaters: life is meant to be enjoyed. Whatever you do in life, make sure you have fun. So if you beat your uncle at a game of checkers, get the last parking space in front of the post office, or receive a bigger tax refund than you expected, make sure you drop off a little celebration, no matter who's around.
That reminds me, I've got to do my taxes. See you in the cheap seats.
JS
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