The Fight That Never Comes

In approximately 14 months, the most anticipated fight of the last 10 years will finally happen. November 22, 2012. Thanksgiving night, if the NFL doesn't bully its way into a third night game.

Mayweather vs. Pacquiao will finally come to fruition...according to Jalen Rose.

Finally. We have a soothsayer whom we can trust, right? Jalen wouldn't steer us wrong.


Imagine it. Imagine the sheer amount of money that would change hands to watch the fight. The ticket sales at the MGM Grand. The ticket sales at bars and restaurants and movie theaters across America and in the Phillippines. The pay-per-view numbers. The millions of dollars put in at betting houses and the casual bets in office pools. (Not to mention Skip Bayless' secret horror at the fact Mayweather could possibly win.)

It would be the largest gate for a boxing match since the Rumble in the Jungle, which as much anticipation as Ali vs. Foreman.

Imagine it.

For that's all you and I will be able to do.

Wishin', and hopin', and thinkin'

Floyd Mayweather is cocky. He is arrogant. Shoot, he's an asshole. He really hates Larry Merchant, too. But he is a very good fighter. He controlled Victor Ortiz through most of his last fight, and he didn't throw any low blows or cheap shots. Even the supposed cheap punch he took to stun Ortiz was not what it seemed. The gloves had touched and the referee had signaled for continuation.

Somehow, that adds to Floyd's aura as a villain. You can almost see his "Rise" commercial: "Should I really think this ruined my legacy?"

Floyd Mayweather is one of the best welterweights of all time on record alone. He's been rated as Fighter of the Year twice, almost ten years apart. Outside of that, he's a man who believes he is the best of all-time, probably no matter the weight class and is out only for himself, a fact confirmed in his post-bout interview with Merchant. I mean, come on, Floyd, you shouted out your record company?

Muhammad Ali believed he was the best and proved it by losing, coming back and winning. Floyd Mayweather says he's the best, but I don't believe he can come back from a loss; he's never had to. With Pacquiao the last and only clear test left on his horizon, Mayweather's choices are clear: pick up a pencil and take the chance to fail or take a fast powder out of the classroom.

I get the feeling Floyd didn't enjoy tests in school.

Paths diverge and converge, again

Prior to his resounding defeat over Victor Ortiz, the last solid knockout Mayweather scored was against the "Big Show" Paul Wight at Wrestlemania 24. Considering it took four chair shots and a set of brass knuckles (not to mention a "professional" wrestling match), it was somewhat less than a clean victory. It does illustrate the career path of Floyd "Money" Mayweather: entertainer.

We've gone over the shout to his record company after the Ortiz bout. We just mentioned the WWE appearance. Add to that his retirement from boxing in 2007 to focus on his promotional company, as well as his appearance on Dancing with the Stars that same year, and it's clear that "Money" Mayweather truly lives up to his nickname.

Meanwhile, Manny Pacquiao is also one of the greatest fighters of the last decade, but he is not making his bread solely from boxing. His burgeoning political career has been highly publicized by Skip Bayless (I think he mentions it on "First Take" even when they're not discussing boxing), and Pacquaio has done TV work since 2005, most notably in the U.S. after appearing on Tosh.0. Not surprisingly, Tosh took a shot at Mayweather after taking a shot from Pacquiao: "See, Mayweather? That's how a man behaves."

Both these men are well-documented world-class fighters who have the records and the opponents to prove it. And the main link between both of these men is that they're lives will not be lived in the ring. For them, boxing is a means to an end and not the end itself.

That's something George Foreman realized, something Joe Frazier didn't, and something Muhammad Ali couldn't understand.

What if...

The main stumbling block is the random drug testing the Mayweather camp has demanded. What makes it more surreal is that Pacquiao accepted the testing, with the condition that random testing end two weeks before the fight—and Mayweather balked. Why Money chose to not accept Pacquiao's compromise is beyond me. He should have realized the sports world would react the way they have with calling him everything from "afraid" to "coward".

Is "Money" Mayweather afraid of Manny Pacquiao? I honestly don't think so. Would it be the lopsided affair for the Fighting Filipino everyone believes it would be? No. Floyd Mayweather would give Manny a run. Besides, no boxing fan in their right minds wants a two-round KO. They want a fight for the ages.

That, in today's boxing world, is just not possible. Gone are the days of heavyweight bouts past where kids and parents would gather around the radio a la Cinderella Man. Gone are the days when Wide World of Sports would have up-to-the-minute coverage of Ali vs. Frazier with Howard Cosell ever present at ringside. Gone are the days, even, when millions of viewers would put up hard-earned cash on a pay-per-view for Tyson vs. Holyfield and witness the moment of a lifetime.

Those days are gone for boxing. This fight might save the sport, but ultimately, I think Mayweather-Pacquiao would be the final convulsion for the sweet science's professional realm. Perhaps deep down, both of these men realize that and that is why neither will budge on their demands.

But imagine it. Next Thanksgiving, 2012, in the middle of a huge fall sports season. The NBA lockout has ended and football is full-swing, but the world will pause to watch the best in the world settle the question we've been asking for three or four years now.

The day has arrived, the stage has been set
Everyone in America has laid down a bet
The Strip is deserted, the schools were closed down
Tonight, this is the only ticket in town.
"I knew it couldn't happen, I knew he wouldn't show"
Says Skip Bayless loudly from his seat in the front row.
"He's afraid of Pacquiao—" SMACK! "You know what?"
"The fight's starting," says Jalen. "Skip, please shut up!"
And then a roar in the grandstand, a roar in the rafters
Surely there's only one thing that can come after
And yes, it's Mayweather, his posse in tow
The Pretty Boy finally decided to show
His face is a mask, he's ready to settle
They've called him a coward, it's time to prove mettle.
Larry Merchant is ringside, preparing his cards
"I wonder what Floyd will say after getting hit so hard?"
Now the time has come, they're both in the ring
It's time to determine who's really the king
And as they touch gloves and the bell rings...


We all wish this could be more than a beautiful dream.

See you in the cheap seats.

JS

Wilting Roses: The ESPN Culture of "Blah, Blah, Blah"

"Everybody's talkin' at me, I don't hear what they're sayin'..."

Disregarding the fact that hardly anyone under age 40 knows where those words actually come from, they say a great deal to the world today. In the aptly-described "Information Age", facts, statistics and opinion alike are available as soon as we get out of bed in the morning. We can find out about an earthquake in Tunisia, a space shuttle launch in Russia, or an unusual birth in Luxembourg almost immediately, and if we don't care about it, we don't have to.

No field has benefited more from the Info Age than sports. After all, most sports fans today are junkies (nerds!) concerned with statistics and more news than can be provided in the box scores now, so there is up-to-the-minute reporting on everything. Pro stars, college stars, high school stars, grammar school stars even! There is analysis on everything, breakdown of everything, and critiques on everything. It is as in-depth as you can get, and when there's nothing concrete anymore, there are endless panels of experts to give their (often clashing) opinions.

And therein lies the problem. When there are thousands of shouting voices, who can say which is worth listening to?

More importantly, which one is shouting the truth?


The fates, intertwined

As the NBA season started, all focus was on the Miami Heat. The trio of LeBron, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh had been predicted to do everything short of conquer the entire continent of Asia, and only the Los Angeles Lakers were thought to have an eventual chance against the mighty [insert Heat nickname here].

To clarify: the Heat had already been given a berth in the NBA Finals. Before the season had even started.

(Note: I will attempt to deliver the next few paragraphs without any sarcasm or animosity. However, LeBron James is still a punk and will be treated accordingly.)

As the season got underway, the Heat train experienced a few bumps and near-halts: an opening night loss to Boston, a buzzer-beating home loss to Memphis, defeat at the hands of the lowly Pacers. Chris Bosh was ridiculed from coast-to-coast and had a popular song parodied in his honor. Erik Spoelstra was already a lame-duck coach in the minds of many. And all the predictions of astronomical win totals? Disapparated faster than Severus Snape.

Meanwhile, the Chicago Bulls and their fans were greeting the season with guarded apprehension. One of the final favorites to land LeBron, Chicago had been similarly spurned on the night of the decision, though they did get low-post machine Carlos Boozer as a consolation prize. But as the preseason finished up, word came down that Boozer had "curiously" broken his finger in the preseason and would sit out the first month.

New coach Tom Thibodeau had a great resume and endorsements but was still a wild card. Meanwhile, Derrick Rose had publicly declared "why can't I be MVP of the league?" leading many pundits to believe he was crazy.

Chicago and Miami were over a thousand miles away from each other, but from Bulls fans' perspectives, they might as well have been neighbors competing for best Christmas decorations.


The numbers, chopped and screwed

After a full month of play, the Bulls were 9-8 and still awaiting the return of Boozer. Going into tonight's game (the 73rd of the season), they are 53-19. Translation: a 44-11 record since December 3, an .800 winning percentage.

Over the same period, the Heat (who were 12-8 on December 3), ran off a record of 39-14 for a percentage of .736. Not better than the Bulls but still incredibly good. (To compare, the Lakers were also 39-14 in that span; the league-leading Spurs were 41-13, a .759 clip.)

Naturally, the media looked to the numbers and wondered how Chicago was winning so much. There had to be a single, primary reason, right? So they saw Rose's statistical improvement and TV-friendly skill set, and started putting him at the forefront of the MVP race.

Correction: they firmly crowned him as the most valuable player. Every single one of them, from Jon Barry to Christopher Hitchens. Even Christiane Amanpour went on record: "the situation in Libya is growing dire, but Derrick Rose is hands down my MVP. The guy is a flat-out winner, unlike Gadhafi."

There was only one problem: the season wasn't finished yet.


The noise, muted

I'm a Chicago fan through and through. I even want the Cubs to succeed, if it means their well-meaning fans can be happy and the Chicago baseball rivalry can be a rivalry. I've watched Derrick Rose and the Bulls all season long and I've seen him and the Bulls get better every game. I sang the "Fast Don't Lie" jingle all through the winter, and I've mused many times over selling my life for playoff tickets.

Derrick Rose would be my MVP vote, as Cam'ron and the Diplomats would say, easy.

However, I understand the cases for other players. Dwight Howard is the engine for Orlando and he has improved his game this year as well (the Tim Duncan-like jumper.) Kobe Bryant is Kobe Bryant, the best in the clutches. LeBron James will always be a positional anomaly who can play almost anywhere on the court, and Kevin Durant can score almost at will now.

There is an argument for other players. But there shouldn't be a need to scream about it.

Skip Bayless has criticized just about everyone who's been born and played a professional sport in the United States, as well as Mother Theresa's charity work. We expect it from him. But now Dan LeBatard (whom I just don't respect) has weighed in on the supposed media-driven Rose-fest.

The quote that sums up all this Rose-hatred/MVP-misjudgment: "[Rose] is just not the best [player]. Which means he's not the most valuable."

Without going into detail, best does not equate in basketball with most valuable. If that were true, either Kobe Bryant or LeBron James would have won the award the last five years every single season, because they are without a doubt splitting time for best player  (with Timmy D running third.)

What does it mean? I don't know. There are so many variables to consider even without sabermetrics. Chemistry, trade value, "aaaah" factor (see: fans after a Blake Griffin dunk), player mindset. But most of all, I think the MVP should come from a team that not only wins, but wins when it counts: the playoffs.

So since the season's not over, I think it's time for everyone to shut up.

That would fix everything, wouldn't it? There wouldn't be any of the D-Rose stumping which has caused so much backlash. There also wouldn't be coaches, players and media personnel campaigning for another player based a modicum of facts and a majority of shouted opinions. We could watch the games, total the stats, weigh them with those few remaining intangibles, and when the season's over, make a reasoned argument. The opinions would stay relegated to 100-plus characters on Twitter and the 10-plus characters at the barbershop.

It would be so easy. And so much quieter.

The reality, resigned

Alas, the world does not work that way. Everyone has a subject to formulate an opinion on and a chance to voice that opinion. Indeed, this blog post is a shining example of just that.

The system won't change. Without people like Skip, there would be no targets for our ire and no arguments to rebut. And there's no going back from the Internet and the culture of immediacy. It's a "global village", as Marshall McLuhan correctly theorized, and one where you can't move away from your neighbors.

As the Miami Heat have as yet failed to live up to lofty expectations, Rose's emergence as an MVP candidate is the natural debate topic. That would be fine, if most or all of the opinions weren't opinions and were instead well-reasoned arguments. But with new stats and figures every second and endless frames of tape, that is becoming almost impossible. After all, none of the so-called arguments have done what arguments are supposed to do: bring everyone involved to a logical conclusion.

So I propose that since we have nothing valuable to say, we should say nothing at all. That would be the most valuable thing we could do.

See you in the cheap seats.

JS