Wilting Roses: The ESPN Culture of "Blah, Blah, Blah"

"Everybody's talkin' at me, I don't hear what they're sayin'..."

Disregarding the fact that hardly anyone under age 40 knows where those words actually come from, they say a great deal to the world today. In the aptly-described "Information Age", facts, statistics and opinion alike are available as soon as we get out of bed in the morning. We can find out about an earthquake in Tunisia, a space shuttle launch in Russia, or an unusual birth in Luxembourg almost immediately, and if we don't care about it, we don't have to.

No field has benefited more from the Info Age than sports. After all, most sports fans today are junkies (nerds!) concerned with statistics and more news than can be provided in the box scores now, so there is up-to-the-minute reporting on everything. Pro stars, college stars, high school stars, grammar school stars even! There is analysis on everything, breakdown of everything, and critiques on everything. It is as in-depth as you can get, and when there's nothing concrete anymore, there are endless panels of experts to give their (often clashing) opinions.

And therein lies the problem. When there are thousands of shouting voices, who can say which is worth listening to?

More importantly, which one is shouting the truth?


The fates, intertwined

As the NBA season started, all focus was on the Miami Heat. The trio of LeBron, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh had been predicted to do everything short of conquer the entire continent of Asia, and only the Los Angeles Lakers were thought to have an eventual chance against the mighty [insert Heat nickname here].

To clarify: the Heat had already been given a berth in the NBA Finals. Before the season had even started.

(Note: I will attempt to deliver the next few paragraphs without any sarcasm or animosity. However, LeBron James is still a punk and will be treated accordingly.)

As the season got underway, the Heat train experienced a few bumps and near-halts: an opening night loss to Boston, a buzzer-beating home loss to Memphis, defeat at the hands of the lowly Pacers. Chris Bosh was ridiculed from coast-to-coast and had a popular song parodied in his honor. Erik Spoelstra was already a lame-duck coach in the minds of many. And all the predictions of astronomical win totals? Disapparated faster than Severus Snape.

Meanwhile, the Chicago Bulls and their fans were greeting the season with guarded apprehension. One of the final favorites to land LeBron, Chicago had been similarly spurned on the night of the decision, though they did get low-post machine Carlos Boozer as a consolation prize. But as the preseason finished up, word came down that Boozer had "curiously" broken his finger in the preseason and would sit out the first month.

New coach Tom Thibodeau had a great resume and endorsements but was still a wild card. Meanwhile, Derrick Rose had publicly declared "why can't I be MVP of the league?" leading many pundits to believe he was crazy.

Chicago and Miami were over a thousand miles away from each other, but from Bulls fans' perspectives, they might as well have been neighbors competing for best Christmas decorations.


The numbers, chopped and screwed

After a full month of play, the Bulls were 9-8 and still awaiting the return of Boozer. Going into tonight's game (the 73rd of the season), they are 53-19. Translation: a 44-11 record since December 3, an .800 winning percentage.

Over the same period, the Heat (who were 12-8 on December 3), ran off a record of 39-14 for a percentage of .736. Not better than the Bulls but still incredibly good. (To compare, the Lakers were also 39-14 in that span; the league-leading Spurs were 41-13, a .759 clip.)

Naturally, the media looked to the numbers and wondered how Chicago was winning so much. There had to be a single, primary reason, right? So they saw Rose's statistical improvement and TV-friendly skill set, and started putting him at the forefront of the MVP race.

Correction: they firmly crowned him as the most valuable player. Every single one of them, from Jon Barry to Christopher Hitchens. Even Christiane Amanpour went on record: "the situation in Libya is growing dire, but Derrick Rose is hands down my MVP. The guy is a flat-out winner, unlike Gadhafi."

There was only one problem: the season wasn't finished yet.


The noise, muted

I'm a Chicago fan through and through. I even want the Cubs to succeed, if it means their well-meaning fans can be happy and the Chicago baseball rivalry can be a rivalry. I've watched Derrick Rose and the Bulls all season long and I've seen him and the Bulls get better every game. I sang the "Fast Don't Lie" jingle all through the winter, and I've mused many times over selling my life for playoff tickets.

Derrick Rose would be my MVP vote, as Cam'ron and the Diplomats would say, easy.

However, I understand the cases for other players. Dwight Howard is the engine for Orlando and he has improved his game this year as well (the Tim Duncan-like jumper.) Kobe Bryant is Kobe Bryant, the best in the clutches. LeBron James will always be a positional anomaly who can play almost anywhere on the court, and Kevin Durant can score almost at will now.

There is an argument for other players. But there shouldn't be a need to scream about it.

Skip Bayless has criticized just about everyone who's been born and played a professional sport in the United States, as well as Mother Theresa's charity work. We expect it from him. But now Dan LeBatard (whom I just don't respect) has weighed in on the supposed media-driven Rose-fest.

The quote that sums up all this Rose-hatred/MVP-misjudgment: "[Rose] is just not the best [player]. Which means he's not the most valuable."

Without going into detail, best does not equate in basketball with most valuable. If that were true, either Kobe Bryant or LeBron James would have won the award the last five years every single season, because they are without a doubt splitting time for best player  (with Timmy D running third.)

What does it mean? I don't know. There are so many variables to consider even without sabermetrics. Chemistry, trade value, "aaaah" factor (see: fans after a Blake Griffin dunk), player mindset. But most of all, I think the MVP should come from a team that not only wins, but wins when it counts: the playoffs.

So since the season's not over, I think it's time for everyone to shut up.

That would fix everything, wouldn't it? There wouldn't be any of the D-Rose stumping which has caused so much backlash. There also wouldn't be coaches, players and media personnel campaigning for another player based a modicum of facts and a majority of shouted opinions. We could watch the games, total the stats, weigh them with those few remaining intangibles, and when the season's over, make a reasoned argument. The opinions would stay relegated to 100-plus characters on Twitter and the 10-plus characters at the barbershop.

It would be so easy. And so much quieter.

The reality, resigned

Alas, the world does not work that way. Everyone has a subject to formulate an opinion on and a chance to voice that opinion. Indeed, this blog post is a shining example of just that.

The system won't change. Without people like Skip, there would be no targets for our ire and no arguments to rebut. And there's no going back from the Internet and the culture of immediacy. It's a "global village", as Marshall McLuhan correctly theorized, and one where you can't move away from your neighbors.

As the Miami Heat have as yet failed to live up to lofty expectations, Rose's emergence as an MVP candidate is the natural debate topic. That would be fine, if most or all of the opinions weren't opinions and were instead well-reasoned arguments. But with new stats and figures every second and endless frames of tape, that is becoming almost impossible. After all, none of the so-called arguments have done what arguments are supposed to do: bring everyone involved to a logical conclusion.

So I propose that since we have nothing valuable to say, we should say nothing at all. That would be the most valuable thing we could do.

See you in the cheap seats.

JS