...And the Five Worst Rivalries in Sports

Chinese wisdom, specifically the theory of "yin yang", tells us that for everything, there is an opposite.

For every light, there is a darkness. For every good, an evil. For our purposes, we shall say that for every great rivalry, there is a lousy one.

Not all feuds can be great. Some take time to develop and ferment, like a fine...grape juice. Others start with a flash and somehow keep their fire until flaming out, supernova-style. But other rivalries have lost their luster after years of passionate meetings, while others are media-driven and cannot be called rivalries at all. As I listed the five best rivalries in American sports today, here's a count of the five worst rivalries in the United States.

Honorable Mention:

Roger Federer - Rafael Nadal

This will forever be one of the great rivalries in tennis, up their with McEnroe/Borg/Connors and Evert/Navratilova. It was a classic battle: upstart Nadal vs. the established superstar Federer, and while der Meister destroyed all other comers, he could never quite seem to beat the southpaw Nadal, most notably on the clay surface of Roland Garros.

But the sun seems to have set on what some have called the greatest rivalry in the history of professional tennis. Roger Federer has not won a major championship since last season's Australian Open and his ranking has dropped significantly. He lost to Nadal once again at this year's French Open, and both men have been surpassed during Novak Djokovic's astounding run to the top. It would be heinous to categorize this great feud with the worst rivalries in sports today, but it does look as if the Roger-Rafa rivalry has seen it's last match. It was fun while it lasted.

5. San Francisco Giants - Los Angeles Dodgers

This was one of the most storied rivalries in Major League Baseball, dating back to the days when both teams played in New York. The Bums of Brooklyn may have chased the Yankees for glory through the 1940s and early-'50s, but it was the New York (Baseball) Giants that ended the Dodgers 1951 season with the legendary "Shot Heard 'Round the World".

The Dodgers-Giants intracoastal rivalry stayed true through the twilight years of the 20th century, but lately things have turned sour. The Giants fell hard after winning the World Series last season, and the Dodgers, even with a multitude of young talent, haven't been able to get over the hump since 2008. With the Diamondbacks making their surprising run this season and a parking lot fight between fans turning dangerous early this season (see video below), the Giants and the "Dah-jahs" rivalry hasn't been able to live up to their past standards.

Let's hope these two teams can reignite their future matchups. In the meantime, let's hope the Giants can keep their logo.

 4. Minnesota - Michigan (college football)

The oldest named rivalry in college football—isn't. Big Blue has taken home the "Little Brown Jug" 20 times since 1986, and Minnesota hasn't won the game since 2005, with most of the margins in that span exceeding 10 points. Minnesota football has been on a downward spiral in the last few years, and even with the hiring of successful coach Jerry Kill, that trend will take some time to reverse.

Ohio State/Michigan would have taken this spot had Ohio State not been victimized by their own infidelities toward transparency. Minnesota football has just been bad. Hopefully, the Golden Gophers can translate their budding basketball success to the football field and challenge the Wolverines once again.

3. Notre Dame - Southern California (college football)

Unlike the annual Notre Dame/Navy game (which will be on the longer list of best current rivalries), this contest has also been lopsided in recent years, thanks to Notre Dame's overwhelming mediocrity.

To be fair, I've hated Notre Dame for a long time now (more due to obnoxious fans at my high school than anything), but the Golden Domers haven't made it any easier for me to jump back on the train. Bob Davie had the last decent run of success before handing the reins to Ty Willingham (who many believe wasn't given a fair shake), Charlie Weis and now Brian Kelly. Weis' teams were fairly successful, but had the ignominy of: being the first team to lose to Navy in 43 years (2007); the first team to lose to an eight-loss team (Syracuse, 2008); and another loss to unranked Navy in 2009.

Notre Dame finally beat USC in Los Angeles last year, Kelly's first season as coach. Prior to that, they had not beaten the Trojans since 2001. Notre Dame is showing some promise under Kelly, but it will take some time for the Fighting Irish to reestablish themselves as top dog. Still, this rivalry will always have one of the coolest trophies ever: the Jeweled Shillelagh.

(credit to Wikipedia user Jakesthesnake)

2. Chicago Cubs - St. Louis Cardinals

Let me start by saying this: CubssuckCubssuckCubssuckCubssuckCubssuck(STOP!)

Whew. Now that's done, I'll elaborate: the Cubs are really bad.

This probably the most historic rivalry in the National League. The Cubs and Cards have always been geographical rivals, and have played in the same division since the leagues were split in 1969. The Cardinals are the most successful team in the senior circuit, but the Cubs have always played them tough. Lately, the Bruins haven't had a lot of success against the Redbirds on the Bat. By the numbers:

-Since 2000, the Cardinals and Cubs have faced off 194 times. The Cards have won 111 of those games.

-In the same time frame, St. Louis has gone to the playoffs eight times, with a record of 12-25 (including the 2011 World Series), 10 postseason series wins and a World Series victory. The Cubs have gone to the playoffs three times with a record of 3-10 and one postseason victory.

I was going to add that the President of the United States made the choice to be a White Sox fan even as the South Siders were having about the same lean years as the Cubs, but that's not a real statistic. Suffice it to say that the Cubbies have not measured up well against their rivals on Route 66. Things might well turn over: Albert Pujols is on the clock if the Cards don't beat the Rangers in the World Series, and new Cubs owner Tom Ricketts has shown he's willing to win by hiring former Red Sox boy genius GM Theo Epstein. Any Cubs surge would make this a worthy rivalry of Sunday Night Baseball, unlike our top worst rivalry...

First pitch at the '08 All-Star Game...in St. Louis. Prez does it like that.

1. New York Yankees - Boston Red Sox

Two great teams. Two franchises close in proximity. Two rabid fan bases, even when you discount the bandwagoners. Two areas that have never liked each other since this nation was founded. So why, oh why does this qualify as the worst rivalry in American sports today?

Oversaturation.

There are many things I love. Butter, steak, Five Guys burgers, Zebra Cakes. But give me too much in quick succession and I'll get absolutely sick of it (Exhibit A: John Cena). The Red Sox - Yankees clash has been shoved down our throats by ESPN so much in the last ten or 15 years that the majority of baseball fans outside of the North-Atlantic Coast are disgusted by the Sunday Night Baseball yearly lineup, which I'd guarantee has Yanks-BoSox 75 percent of the schedule. It doesn't help that ESPN's headquarters in Bristol, Connecticut make it easy for the sports network to focus their attention on this clash.

It's not that the teams are bad, or that the games aren't fun to watch. It's solely the repeated exposure. Please, ESPN, read this and schedule some other games. Take New York vs. Boston away from national television for an entire season even. Maybe then, I won't gag each time I see Kevin Youkilis' giant chin in high definition.

Until next time, see you in the cheap seats.

JS

The Top Five Rivalries in the Game Today...

I've talked about how I realize that sports is a business many times in the space, and I've talked about how I hate that fact. I wish sports was completely pure and free of external complications of contracts, agents and dollars. But spectator sports are what they are because of spectators, and we spectators don't come to watch a game. We come to watch drama play out. We pack buildings and stadiums to watch an age-old drama unfold: the idea of "our good versus their evil."

Nowhere is this more present than in rivalry games. Sometimes they are defined by physical proximity.  Sometimes they are defined by one side having what the other side wants. Sometimes, they're sparked in one fiery instant of passion.

No matter the case, rivalries take sports to another level. It takes athletes from a "both teams played hard"-mentality to the level of "we didn't want to just beat them, we wanted to humiliate them"-mindset. The fans get into it, the players get into it, the announcers get into it. That's when sports become more than sports.

So who claims the greatest rivalry right now? It's tough, since in the age of ESPN almost everyone who plays each other can claim to be a rival, but some bragging rights games just have more significance than others. These are my best current rivalries in U.S. sports.

Honorable Mention: Florida State-Florida, Ohio State-Michigan, Ravens-Steelers, White Sox-Tigers, Reds-Cardinals, Lakers-Mavericks.

5. The Rock-John Cena

This wouldn't have made the list if it wasn't for Dwayne Johnson. Anyone who's ever watched professional wrestling knows The Rock's skill on the microphone. He's a legend among fans for his charisma, wrestling ability and knack for dissing other wrestlers before (and during) matches.

This rivalry was built back in 2006, when John Cena had an interview to promote his movie "12 Rounds". In the interview, Cena dissed The Rock for saying he was never going to leave the WWE and then going "Hollywood". In the years following, Cena has become a polarizing figure for wrestling fans in the so-called "PG era": newer, younger fans rally around his image and merchandise, while older wrestling fans (veterans of the "Attitude" era") decry him for his limited moveset and constant holding of one of the major WWE championships.

The buzz has been going for years on a Rock-Cena match, and finally, Vince McMahon brought The Rock back and granted the fans' wish. Rock cost Cena the championship at Wrestlemania and the next night, the two men set a match for next year's Wrestlemania. In the meantime, the Rock delivered some epic promos, including this doozy below (NSFW):

Sports entertainment or not, this is going to be a great buildup to a hopefully great match. Tip for fans: order this year's Survivor Series for an appetizer.

4. Floyd Mayweather-Manny Pacquiao

I know I've already covered this in "The Fight That Never Comes". Still, it's worth mentioning because of the hype that has been built not by promoters or the fighters themselves, but by the people. Everyone who loves boxing wants this fight, and I don't think they care if they get it in 2012 or 2022. I'll say again: "Money" controlled his fight with Victor Ortiz before the controversial knockout and he's never been a patsy in the ring. Fight fans can say all they want about Manny cleaning him up, this will be a great fight—if it ever happens.

3. Tampa Bay Rays-Boston Red Sox

Oh no, you thought I was going to say Red Sox-Yankees, didn't you? Well, too bad. That rivalry's going on the next list (trust me, anyone who hates seeing Derek Jeter on Sunday Night Baseball all summer is going to love that list). This is a much fresher and much more interesting rivalry for baseball.

The (Devil) Rays were once a floundering team who looked as if they'd never move past "expansion" status. Then they changed their name, their uniforms, stopped picking up veterans at the end of their careers and acquired some talented draft picks. It was only a matter of time before they began barking with the big boys in the AL East, and the bully on the block happened to be the BoSox. It started with a James Shields haymaker that came sooooo close to knocking out CoCo Crisp in 2008 and most recently, the Rays landed the shot that knocked Boston out of the playoffs. If that weren't enough, the Rays came back from nine games back in the standings to push out the Carmines.

These teams are incredibly talented on both sides of the ball and are perennial favorites for the AL East crown and the American League Wild Card. I'm excited to watch these squads go at it. Unlike the perpetual Yankees-Red Sox yawners jammed down our throats.

2. New York Jets-New England Patriots

I didn't give New York vs. New England any play in Major League Baseball, but NYC and Boston will never been anything but adversaries. Since the colonial days when the nation's capital hopped between them, the two cities have never seen eye-to-eye. Now they have another great rivalry to clash over. Last year, the Patriots humiliated the Jets (along with nearly everyone else) on their march to the playoffs and it seemed natural they'd do it again in the divisional playoffs.

And then Mark Skywalker and Bart "Lando Calrissian" Scott defeated the Evil Empire in a shocking win. Wes Welker's "foot-in-mouth" pregame interview was trumped by Scott's "CAN'T WAIT!" spot. Never mind all the smack talk: this is a solid rivalry and one that should be that way for years to come.

All I can say about this one...

And now, the top rivalry in U.S. professional sports today....

1. Chicago Bulls-Miami Heat

Damn you, David Stern. Damn you, NBA owners. Damn you, NBA players' union. How can you let the NBA season slide away and take this budding donnybrook away from us? All the elements of a classic NBA rivalry are here in this one: high flyers against tough defenders; pedigreed champs versus up-and-comers; the glitz and glamor of South Beach versus the tough and gritty kids from Madison Street.

The Bulls were the surprise of the East last year and the Heat was everyone's favorite dartboard target, so it was natural that they should have some great games. I don't think anyone expected the three regular season classics that we were left with last year (three games decided by a total margin of eight points), not to mention the Heat's responding victory in the conference finals. The upstart Bulls were humbled by Miami in the Conference Finals, which still reminds me of the Detroit-Chicago tangles of the late-'80s. With Miami's loss to the Mavericks in the championship, both teams would have been hungry for redemption in the spring. Hopefully this lockout ends and we'll have a chance to see D-Rose and Co. lock horns with Wade, LBJ and that other dude.

Coming soon: The Five Worst Sports Rivalries.

Oh, yeah. Red Sox-Yankees is definitely making that list.

See you in the cheap seats.

JS