The Worst in First

Five things that passed through my mind during Sunday's Bears-Redskins game:

1. "Either Troy Aikman has money on the 'Skins or he has DeAngelo Hall on his fantasy team. That's the only reason he says Jay Cutler should challenge Hall when he already has three picks."

2. "Thom Brennaman must have gotten a memo from Fox not to dick ride Julius Peppers so much."

3. "Does Jay's diabetes keep him from losing his baby fat?"

4. "I think Jon Favreau's character from The Replacements could take Brian Urlacher."

5. "Hey Donovan, I would have taken you over Cade McNown."

Honestly, I'm tired of watching it. They won enough games to get into first place, which made me care about the season. Now they're going to lose enough games to piss me off. Combine this with Carlos Boozer's broken hand, the new LeBron commercial and the agonizing thought of the next White Sox season, and I'm ready to skip classes and eat Ben and Jerry's all day.

With a game against Buffalo following the bye week, the Bears will probably do what they've been doing all season: look great one week and be awful the next. If a TV sitcom did this, it'd be canceled. If an Army platoon worked like this, they'd all be killed in action.

The Chicago Bears? They're still in first place. The Packers are losing players like faster than the Pittsburgh Pirates, the Vikings will probably have to start Terrelle Pr...I mean, Tavaris Jackson for at least three weeks, and the Lions are still the Lions. The Chicago Bears, as bad as they are, could actually end up winning the division.

Of course, considering the schedule, they could also go 2-7 and finish in third. Lovie and the boys have a week not only to figure out their next opponent, but to figure out what kind of team they really are.

Are they an offensive team? Hard to say yes to that; the running has been nonexistent save for the Carolina game, and Jay-Jay has two TDs and six INTs since Week 2.

Are they a defensive team? Again, not right now. Lance Briggs' injury seems serious, they have a rookie starting at cornerback and Julius Peppers has all but disappeared the last two weeks. Ryan Torain tore up the defensive line on Sunday, just as John Kuhn and Brandon Jackson did in the Packers game. Where's Keith Traylor when you really need him?

(He's eating a entire party sub. I checked.)

In all reality, Charles Tillman is playing very well, and young D.J. Moore looks like a solid player in the making. Outside of that, the Bears are looking for answers. None of them are coming right now, but look for a lot of quotes during the bye week that might not be spin control. Football players know when they're team is in bad shape.

Even if Troy Aikman doesn't. I swear, as soon as he said Cutler should challenge Hall, he threw the inno that iced the game. Collusion, anyone?

JS