"See the worst thing they can give guys like you, Shane, is hope."
The arrival of September has brought the typical signs of the coming fall. Bleary-eyed students walk to their early classes. Halloween candy is on-sale obscenely early, and a 90-degree heat wave in Peoria marks summer's last stand.
The other common signs of September are also apparent: the Cubs are already looking forward to next year, the Bears are doing something or other in preseason (NOT UNTIL JERRY'S GONE!), and my beloved White Sox are in the thick of the chase for the AL Central title.
Were in the thick of the division race, I should say.
A three-game shellacking at the hands of the Tigers pushed all but the most starry-eyed of Sox fans off the bandwagon. Which means, of course, your resident romantic is still driving the bus.
Make a choice, already
It's not like the Sox have been the popular pick to make a bold move this season. Even when they were only 5.5 games out of the lead, none of ESPN's experts were high on them to catch the Tigers. That was to be expected, since everyone had actually watched them play more inconsistently than the Bad-News Bears.
The Sox aren't a juggernaut. They aren't overachieving. In fact, they aren't underachieving. It's more drastic than that. They're downright flighty.
Remember the girls (or even guys, I know women are reading this as well) you've dated who couldn't ever make a simple decision? The ones who'd need a pro-con list to decide between McDonald's and Wendy's? That's the White Sox.
There's no other way to describe a team that gets swept in a critical late-season series (losing the final game by 13 runs), then sweeps a doubleheader the very next day against the team that has been the bane of their existence all season.
On the road, no less.
Add in the fact that the struggling rookie pitcher who was picked up at the trade deadline came six outs within a perfect game in the nightcap, and you have the 2011 Chicago White Sox.
McDonald's or Wendy's, McDonald's or Wendy's. Why don't you pick?
Optimism hurts
The Indians are feeling the pain, too. The Tribe moved into second place after the White Sox's debacle of a weekend and probably thought they had a chance. But they took a sweep from the Bengals as well, culminating a "snatching-defeat-from-the-jaws-of-victory" loss this afternoon. Sounds familiar, right?
I have a good friend that an Indians fan, and I'm wondering if he's thinking the same thing I am: Maybe it's not us. Maybe the Tigers are just that good. After all, they have Justin Verlander (who is probably a hologram) and a video game-type lineup. Even Brandon Inge is hitting and I think I saw some of the duct tape peeling off his knees.
Maybe the Tigers are just that good.
For the Sox, the past five days can be described this way:
Friday: Girl calls: "Hey, I want to talk." "What about?" "...About us."
Saturday: (First seven innings) "Listen, I really think you're a great guy and I've loved the time we've spent together...(last two innings)...that's why I think we should break up."
Sunday: Spend day crying in the house watching "Brian's Song" to fend off the questions of why you're crying.
Monday-Tuesday: Phone rings. "Hello?" "Hey, sorry about what I said. I think I was making a mistake. Do you want to meet up somewhere?"
It wouldn't be fair to say any coherent person would say no. There have been too many R&B hits about this very situation. However, I think I'd be smart enough to say no when the girl called me.
But this isn't a relationship. This is baseball.
So for the last two weeks of the 2011 season, I'm going to watch every single White Sox game and hope feverishly that the boys can pull out a miracle finish. Hope the Tigers stumble and fall.
This time, I'm hoping my girl doesn't play me for a fool.
See you in the cheap seats.
JS
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