New England's Evil Empire

If the NFL was Star Wars...

(I can hear you out there: "Wait. Stop. If the NFL was what?" Just go with it, okay? I know it sounds a little goofy, but this has a point.)

So if the NFL was Star Wars, the Patriots would be the Evil Empire. Iffy (and nerdy) at first, but consider the following:

-New England hasn't won the Super Bowl since 2005, but they've always been the team to watch in the AFC East. However, the Browns and Jets both had convincing wins over the Pats, while New England barely escaped the Ravens at home. Remind you of the "Rebel Alliance" a bit?

-Since halftime of the Thanksgiving game against Detroit and prior to tonight's contest with Green Bay, the Pats had outscored opponents 116-21. This is the NFL equivalent of freezing Han Solo in ice and cutting off Luke Skywalker's arm.

(Following this analogy, the Bears are Han Solo and Mark Sanchez is Luke Skywalker. Really only works if Rex Ryan is Chewbacca.)

-Remember how after the 'Spygate' scandal three years ago and the controversy swirling around Foxboro, the Patriots decided to absolutely murk the entire league? Of course, the Pats lost to the Giants in a great Super Bowl, but not before they blew up Alderaan....I mean, thrashed the Redskins 52-7, leading to complaints they were running up the score.

Sure, the comparisons were better two years ago, but with the Patriots on their current roll, many NFL fans are questioning who can stop them. Which leads to my main point of this article:

Bill Belichick is Darth Vader.

(All right, stop rolling your eyes and give me a shot at this.)

He always wears that same hoodie with the cut-off sleeves, just like Vader's omnipresent suit. He never shows any emotion, win or lose. He even killed Mace Windu! (All right, that last one isn't true, but he did basically throw Lovie Smith out the window, if the Bears don't win the division.)

All that's really missing is a red lightsaber and a breathing machine.

Lord Vader or not, Belichick is steering the Patriots toward home-field advantage come the playoffs. With the Bills and Dolphins the only teams left on the schedule, there's good odds that say they'll be in prime position to do just that. And with the Colts looking lost, the Steelers and Ravens little competition and the NFC a shambles, Darth Belichick may just be victorious this time.

So don't be surprised if you see Danny Woodhead wearing a Stormtrooper suit after next Sunday's game.

JS